non sequitur

1stDay2ndShow

26-Jan-2012
Movie: Agneepath (with the rare company of my father)
Place: Gayatri Talkies, Bangalore
Time: 9.30pm

13-Jan-2012
Movie: Businessman(Telugu)
Place: Fame Cinemas, Lido, Bangalore
Time: 6.30pm

30-Dec-2011
Movie: Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows
Place: Fame Cinemas, Forum Value Mall, Bangalore
Time: 4.30pm

23-Dec-2011
Movie: Don 2
Place: Fame Cinemas, Forum Value Mall, Bangalore
Time: unknown

16-Dec-2011
Movie: Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol
Place: Fame Cinemas, Forum Value Mall, Bangalore
Time: 6.00pm
I have invoked the Ghost Protocol.

09-Dec-2011
Movie: Panjaa (Telugu)
Place: Gowri Talkis, Anantapur
Time: 6.30pm

23-Sep-2011
Movie: Dookudu (Telugu)
Place: Fame Cinemas, Forum Value Mall, Bangalore
Time: 8.30pm

24-Jun-2011
Movie: Cars 2
Place: Fame Cinemas, Forum Value Mall, Bangalore
Time: 7.20pm

14-Jan-2011
Movie:   Yamla Pagla Deewana
Place:    Fame Cinemas, Forum Value Mall, Bangalore
Time:     2.30pm

25-Nov-2010
Movie:   Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows-I
Place:    Fame Cinemas, Forum Value Mall, Bangalore
Time:     6.45pm

12-Nov-2010
Movie:   The Social Network
Place:    Fame Cinemas, Forum Value Mall, Bangalore
Time:     9.50pm

01-Oct-2010
Movie:   Enthiran - The Robot
Place:    Fame Cinemas, Forum Value Mall, Bangalore
Time:     unnamed

16-July-2010
Movie:   Inception
Place:    Fame Cinemas, Forum Value Mall, Bangalore
Time:     unnamed

25-June-2010
Movie:   Toy Story 3
Place:    PVR Cinemas, Bangalore
Time:     7.30pm

07-May-2010
Movie:   Iron Man 2
Place:    Fame Cinemas, Forum Value Mall, Bangalore
Time:     9.30pm

12-Feb-2010
Movie:   My Name is Khan
Place:    Big Cinemas, Anantapur
Time:    unnamed

29-Jan-2010
Movie:   Ishqiya
Place:    Fame Value Mall, Bangalore
Time:    unnamed

08-Jan-2010
Movie:    Sherlock Holmes
Place:     Fame Value Mall, Bangalore
Time:     9.30pm

18-Dec-2009
Movie:    Avatar
Place:     Fame Lido, Bangalore
Time:     9pm

02-Oct-2009
Landed in Bangalore today. Off to watch Inglourious Basterds.

05th Jun, 2009
Movie:    Star Trek
Place:     INOX Movies, Chennai
Time:     10.20pm

22nd May, 2009
Movie:    Watchmen
Place:     Satyam Cinemas, Chennai
Time:     10.30pm

As a preparation to this movie, a few weeks back I finished reading the 12 issues of the eponymous graphic novel/comic book on which the movie is based.

The Wit and Wisdom of Sidhu

The IPL 2011 has ended and Navjot Singh Sidhu was present on the expert panel on Extra Innings on almost all the matches played on weekends and a few matches on weekdays. I tried to capture some of the wit and wisdom of Sidhu, popularly known as Sidhuisms, over the last few weeks whenever I could manage to catch him hyperventilating. I shall now dive directly into them:

Fear multiplies faster than rabbits.
The biggest room is the room for improvement.
50 in this game! As elusive as Scarlet Pimpernel.
Men of power are feared. Men of genius are admired. Men of character are respected.
You are not rewarded for having brains; you are rewarded for using them.
A bad day never makes a good night.
There is no better exercise to the heart than bending down and lifting people.
There is no such thing as ladder for success in this game. It is a greased pole.
There's nothing going for the Kings Eleven Punjab in the last 3 years. Even if they bought ducks from the market they would have drowned.
A brave man will fall but he will never yield.
If you are not part of the solution you are part of the precipitate.
Hope is bigger than the Pope.
Grace will last and beauty will blast.
Great engines run on small parts.
If the fox runs, the chicken has wings, my friend.
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you. Sleep and you snore alone.
One man with courage makes the majority.
There are two things beyond your control, my friend - the weather and your wife.
There cannot be any fruit without root.
Better to wear-out than rust.
Strike when the iron is hot. Make the iron hot by striking it hard.
A lost inch of gold can be found, a lost inch of time can't.
God will forgive your sins; your nervous system won't.
Tendulkar - a modest captain with a lot to be modest about.

I shamelessly admit that I admire his quips and I watched the Extra Innings for Sidhu's irrelevant and irreverent quotable quotes more often than the inconsequential matches themselves. If you have noticed any, do feel free to add them here for my amusement. Thank You.

100% Love - Movie Review

'100% Love' is another good Telugu movie I have watched in the recent times. I loved 'Vedam' and I enjoyed 'Ye Maya Chesave'. I finally notice that the Telugu film industry produces atleast one good movie every year that is outside its usual assembly line movies. After a very good performance in 'Ye Maya Chesave', Naga Chaitanya comes back with another memorable performance in this film. It takes a lot of courage for a Telugu hero to play a person with full of flaws and Naga Chaitanya's Balu Mahendra is one of the most exasperating and immature heros in Telugu Films. It is a terrific performance from him - he is so real and so consistent a jerk that you can actually believe such a person can exist. He plays a college student who reeks of ego, pettiness and immaturity all over. He is one of those kids who define themselves by the first rank they get in school/college and suffer an identity crisis when they are faced with anything but. He has a motorbike and the registration number of the bike is - no answers for guessing it right - '1'. In an important scene towards the end where he confesses his love to the heroine, he fleetingly comes to being likable and humane and a minute down, you see him revert to his usual self. There is no redemption for Balu Mahendra - and there in lies the beauty of the film. He is never out of character; except once when he lands punches into a group of goonda fellows troubling his girlfriend. I have never met a first ranker in my life who could tackle a gang of goondas. In that scene, probably as a edgeways hat-tip to his real-life daddy's famous cycle chain scene, he wields a cycle-tyre's rubber tube. Lots of humour in the film comes from his straight faced dialog delivery in the first half. I consider Balu Mahendra as one of the best charecterisations of a protagonist(antagonist would be the mot juste) in Telugu Cinema. Tamanna, the heroine, delivers a very good performance in a role that actually has enough meat in it than just meat, if you know what I mean. Long after I came out of the movie hall, I realised a refreshing aspect about the film. The absense of that abomination to Telugu movies, that annoying voice of Dubbing Sunita elevated the film by several notches. Here's finally a heroine who has spoken her own lines; or is it a new dubbing artist! I have often mourned the 'death' of the Telugu Heroine - a topic in itself, to the extent that I swore myself off Telugu movies until the girls speak their own lines. Coming back, the heroine is very patient with the hero through out the film and the ideal ending for the movie would have been that she loses her endurance capacity with him, gives him an earful and dumps him. I believe that at the end of the movie, she has gotton into a doomed relationship. I was terribly impressed with the opening credits of 'Ye Maya Chesave' last year and this year '100% Love' must get the award for the most creative opening credits. As the adage goes, don’t miss the beginning.

4 out of 5 Marks.

The 83rd Academy Awards - Live Coverage

Kirk Douglas to Anne Hathaway 'you are looking gorgeous. where were you when i was making pictures'. The classic legend is here to present the best supporting actress award.

Melissa Leo wins the best supporting actress for 'The Fighter'. She uses the F word in her acceptance speech and goes 'oops!'.

Pixar Animation Studios makes a film and takes the best animated feature Oscar like clockwork.

‎'The Social Network' takes its first. Best Adapted Screenplay.

Javier Bardem has become fat.

David Seidler gives a charming acceptance speech for his 'The King's Speech' best Original Screenplay award.

Christian Bale takes the Best Supporting Actor for 'The Fighter'. He was completely different from the masked vigilante of Gotham City in this film. Every award winner seems to referring to Melissa Leo's F-word fiasco.

Is Inception silently sweeping this year's Oscars?

Marisa Tomei on stage... im a big fan.

<what happened to the Live transmission on Star Movies? it's gone. or am i watching the wrong channel. Frustrated!>

Billy Crystal!

Bob Hope comes up as the host for calling the presenters for 'Best Visual Effects'. awesome touch. Billy Crystal just gave the show the energy and excitement it needed.

AR Ragman performing on stage!

Tom Hooper, 'The King's Speech' wins the Best Director.

Most of the presenters are the nominees. what's exactly happening this year? Is Oscar going the Filmfare or Stardust or some-such-award-nearer-home way? here the fellows say 'I wont come if you dont give me an award'. They are saying 'I wont turn up if I have not been given an Oscar last year or nominated this year'.

Natalie Portman is going on and on and on and on... goes down as the worst speech this year?

Colin Firth at the end of his Best Actor acceptance speech - 'now if you excuse me, i have to attend to some impulses backstage'.

Steven Spielberg gives a very inspiring introduction to the Best Picture Oscar. 'One of you will join On the Waterfront, The Godfather, The Deer Hunter. The other nine will join The Graduate, Citizen Kane, Raging Bull. Eitherways you are in great company.'

‎'The King's Speech' wins the best picture. Anne Hathaway and James Franco draw curtains on an extremely boring Oscar ceremony. Kirk Douglas and Billy Crystal provide the show it's best and most memorable sections. That's all from my live commentary desk.
Here's the final list of winners this this year:

 

Best Picture:... "The King's Speech."
Actor: Colin Firth, "The King's Speech."
Director: Tom Hooper, "The King's Speech."
Original Screenplay: David Seidler, "The King's Speech."

Cinematography: "Inception."
Sound Mixing: "Inception."
Sound Editing: "Inception."
Visual Effects: "Inception."

Adapted Screenplay: Aaron Sorkin, "The Social Network."
Film Editing: "The Social Network."
Original Score: "The Social Network," Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross.

Supporting Actor: Christian Bale, "The Fighter."
Supporting Actress: Melissa Leo, "The Fighter."

Animated Film: "Toy Story 3."
Original Song: "We Belong Together" from "Toy Story 3," Randy Newman.

Art Direction: "Alice in Wonderland."
Costume Design: "Alice in Wonderland."

Actress: Natalie Portman, "Black Swan."

Foreign Language Film: "In a Better World," Denmark.

Makeup: "The Wolfman."

Animated Short Film: "The Lost Thing."

Live Action Short Film: "God of Love."

Documentary Feature: "Inside Job."

Documentary (short subject): "Strangers No More."

Yamla Pagla Deewana - Movie Review

After watching the excellent trailer of the film for the last several weeks, I approached the film with enthusiasm to the effect that I asked for the ticket in a sing-song manner uttering the tune 'jat Yaaamlaa Pagla Dewaaanaaaa' generating sufficient amusement and wide grins on the faces of 4 people selling tickets behind the counter.

'Yamla Pagla Deewana' turned out to be one of those films – ‘Borat’ and ‘Quick Gun Murugun’ quickly come to my mind - where the only good scenes in the movie are packed into the trailer and they exist independently outside the film even as they appear in the movie. The first half of the movie is atrocious with nothing much happening. If one labours through it, the second half of the movie is good enough to make one forget that the first half is atrocious. From the time the story movies to Punjab it does pick up momentum. The second half movie goes in the lines of the Punjab-half of DDLJ but nevertheless has its own colour and feel to it. It is delightful to watch the NRI/Canada obsessed Anupam Kher and his band of brothers. The performances are very good across the board by the Deol troika and the supporting cast. The best performance of the movie comes from the girl playing the role similar to the one played by Mandira Bedi in DDLJ - with her lifetime ambition of marrying a NRI from Canada. She has great fun with her character - joyously sporting I-love-Caneda T-Shirts and being the flesh and blood version of Lonely Planet and Wikitravel rolled into one.

Did the movie amuse me as much as I amused my friends behind the ticket counter? I am doubtful.

2 Starts out of 5.

Post Script (not for family readers):
YPD is KLPD.

Tees Maar Khan - Movie Review

I mentioned to a friend of mine that on January 1^st I watched 'Tees Maar Khan', and he said 'Oh man! Not the right way to start the New Year'. Even as I agree with him on that point, a part of me tells me that if it inspires me to write about a movie, (well or otherwise is left to you judgment as always) it is a good start for the New Year.

I have a suspicion that the Loser (notice the L in capital) Shirish Kunder (who?) directed 'Tees Maar Khan' and knew that no one would care to watch the film if it were publicized as his film and hoodwinked his wife Farrah Khan to lend her name as the director of the film. After what we have seen of Farrah Khan in her past two outings we expect something light and entertaining from her and a fine departure, by the way, from the usual serious stuff that other women directors throw at us. And, she knows her Hindi Film History. I don’t imply for a minute that 'serious' is not entertaining, but it happens ever so frequently that women directors throw a lot of self-important, apparently intellectual stuff at us while Farrah on the other hand, throws joyous fluff at us. One thing the movie has definitely achieved is that anyone who victimises themselves into watching the film now knows the name and face of Shirish Kunder, thanks to the two being shoved down our throats at the beginning and the end of the film for about, say, 20 times. The fellow has credits in every department of the film and it is amusing and irritating - both at the same time - to watch the smug way in which he punches the air sideways while taking all those faux-Oscars during the end credits of the film. Watching the film makes one think if it is more his dream to win an Oscar than that of the character played by Akshaye Khanna. The only way to get something out of the film is to probably sit in the hall after getting sloshed-to-the-gills. The guy who sat a couple of seats away from me, reeking of alcohol for about a mile, was the only one laughing in the entire cinema hall (which was, by-the-way, houseful on Saturday, 01-Jan-2011) and he was so loud and boisterous that people were more amused by him than the film. I, personally, faced a conundrum. If there are people in the movie hall who disturb you with wailing babies in their arms or providing a running commentary to their friends, you can give a couple of dirty looks and try to silence them. How would you stop a person giving his 200 percent to the film distracting you from watching a film? 

The movie would have been something entirely different if it were half as good as the opening and end credits - which were definitely a class apart. The whole film runs like a college-level skit taken seriously only by the participants and their friends that doesn’t deserve an airtime of more than 20 minutes. What would you say of a movie that has jokes that run in the lines of Manoj 'Day' Ramlan, Danny Doyle, Day Ho! and such - and then they being repeated many times over.

Of the performances, Arya Babbar I thought has an assured screen-presence. I hope we get to see him more often. Katrina Kaif, not to be confused with the good and deserving Mohamed Kaif, turns in a inspired performance making one wonder if she can be a comedienne of Marilyn Monroe proportions (though she has a long way to go if considered only in terms of ‘proportions’) as seen in 'Some Like it Hot'. 'Sheela Ki Jawani' not withstanding, she comes up with an absolutely over-the-top and entertaining performance as an aspiring actress. Probably implying my Marilyn Monroe suggestion, the film has a scene featuring Katrina that mirrors Monroe's immortal photo/scene from 'The Seven Year Itch'. Complimenting her in the over-the-topness - if that is the expression I want - is Akshaye Khanna in a maniacal turn. One wonders how the energetic actor that he is here was responsible for the dullest portions of 'Dil Chahta Hai' as the perpetually morose Sid. Here we have a versatile actor who is arguably the most underutilised star in Bollywood. Speaking of Akshay Kumar – Yawn! Haven’t we seen it all?

After the end credits rolled, I craned my head once to confirm if Shirish Kunder was the fellow sitting those couple of seats away from me - I am confident that he too would need a couple of drinks to endure what he Produced, Edited, Background Scored, Screenplayed and what not!

Rating: 2 out of 5 Stars

Shirish Kunder

JoQ

Q: Which Tennis player's favorite festival is Dasara, or as people from a few parts of the country like to call it, Dussehra?

A: Martina Navratrilova!

On Patiala Pants...

"Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows religiously the new. We are amused at beholding the costume of Henry VIII, or Queen Elizabeth, as much as if it was that of the King and Queen of the Cannibal Islands...The childish and savage taste of men and women for new patterns keeps how many shaking and squinting through kaleidoscopes that they may discover the particular figure which this generation requires today. The manufacturers have learned that this taste is merely whimsical. Of two patterns which differ only by a few threads more or less of a particular color, the one will be sold readily, the other lie on the shelf, though it frequently happens that after the lapse of a season the latter becomes the most fashionable."
- Henry David Thoreau: Walden

With one pair of Patiala Pants a girl can get 2 decent looking dresses stitched. In an era where every girl and her aunty are happy to struggle to get into some sort of tight jeans, one wonders how there still is currency for them blooming Patiala Pants. The world is full of contradictions. If there is a sight worse than a South Indian girl in ill-fitting Salwar Kameezes it is the sight of a girl in Patiala Pants. I spotted a girl in the pillion seat of a motorbike in Patiala Pants (the girl was in the said attire, not the motorbike) and it looked like two hot-air balloons scraping the roads of Bangalore.

The Patiala Pants for girls in reality are spiritual sisters and direct descendents of what were called baggy pants in the 90s. For the better or for worse - mostly for worse, movies have always shaped the fashion trends of a generation. In the late 80s during the ripe years of my adolescence, the sight of boys in 'Friend' caps was commonplace and then came fellas walking around in streets with only one half of their shirts tucked in – giving an impression that they are running to attend some enterprises of great pith and moment. As recently as a week back I spotted a fellow still living in the mid to late 90s. During the same period came a movie named ‘Kadalan’ featuring the dancing sensation Prabhu Deva which as far as I am concerned exploded the cult of Baggy Pants. Today look at a picture of yours with your male friends from college and you will see the unpleasant sight of all of you lined up in Baggy Pants. In those forgettable times, if you were to see a girl on the street in those then famous Baggy Pants, you would have thought she was empty in her top rack. Today, the same Baggy Pants after rightly losing favour among guys have morphed themselves into the abomination called Patiala Pants - thanks mostly to Kareena Kapoor in 'Jab We Met'.

A friend of mine shared a bit of trivia that the Patiala Pants were also called Harem Pants. The name sprang the picture of Alif-Laila/Arabian Nights in my minds eye. A girl sitting on a floor in Patiala Pants could be confused with her actually sitting on an upturned umbrella. A trip to India could inspire Rihanna to come out with her next hit single ‘Over the Umbrella’ or if Wodehouse was around, he would have written his companion piece to 'Young Men in Spats', 'Young Women in Pats'. To sum it all up, I would refuse to be found dead in a ditch with a girl in Patiala Pants.

Amen.

JOQ

Q: what do you call the first cup of coffee a Tamilian has in a day?

A: Thol Kaapiyum

JoQ

Q: If Amazon releases its electronic e-book reader in Tamilnadu, what would the tag line for marketing the product be?

A: Yenna... Kindle pannriya?