Picture 1
The psyche of the nation is still steeped in antediluvian values of saving up for the girl child's wedding and saving up for the boy child's big dreams. The advertisement (Picture 1) under advertisement here is so casual in driving home the point that your daughter's wedding is a very special occasion for which you have to slog your blood and sweat for your life while the boy's side is automatically expected to be the free-loaders to the party throwing tantrums on subjects of paramount importance - like for instance, the temperature at which the cup of coffee is served.
Picture 2
Consider the next advertisement(picture 2) which encourages you to let your child's dream soar. Notice the child being a male-child in most cases where such schemes are presented.
The few TV commercials I remember revolving around the education of the girl child are always trying to wring out tears of emotion and pride on the fact that the girl child is being educated and getting selected for a great job. And if my memory serves me right even these are commercials of some cream that will make the girl fairer in 14 days or some other snake-oil-salesmen attempts to similar effect- implying that it takes beauty for a girl to get somewhere in life - another revolting abomination of the society.
All these are shouting out at us from hoarding on the roads when we step out of the house or from the television sets where we are eagerly awaiting the telecast of the next frivolous game of twenty-twenty. In the backdrop of such regressive ethos are dreams of India as a super-power and a vision 2020 of a developed nation. what a dump!
...Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way into the
dreary desert sand of dead habit...
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.
-Rabindranath Tagore
Well articulated. Entire books can be written driving home this point. You cannot but quote that poem when this topic is touched upon. What a land of ironies! Hope some day we will awake to see ourselves free of prejudice, and not continue to defraud and be defrauded by chauvinistic, jingoistic, and equally nefarious, outdated manipulative "traditional" views. Hope we will pause to think about the justification and relevance of these practices and discard them as they stop making sense. Well done.
Posted by: chinna | July 14, 2009 at 10:19 PM
you know, Chinna, the other day i was discussing with a coworker on the policy of withdrawal of PF(Provident Fund) and in the discussion it came to pass that one can withdraw it before retirement only if any one of the three justifications were provided. one of the justifications among the three is the marriage of a daughter. i innocently asked how about a son's marriage, i might need money for that too. no, son's marriage, PF withdrawal not allowed. Daughter's wedding, yes please. be my guest and blow up the life's savings on wastrels and bandicoots. well... as you pointed out rightly, entire books can be written to drive home the point. thanks for dropping by.
Posted by: Arvind Swarup Pathiki | July 16, 2009 at 02:56 PM
PF withdrawal is allowed for a daughter's wedding because it's the daughter's parents who have to spend! Show me one marriage where the bridegroom bore the cost! I don't mean to sound rebellious, but it has always been our tradition!
Posted by: Swarna | September 25, 2009 at 04:13 AM
Sorry Arvind, at the risk of hijacking this space, I am tempted to respond to Swarna's comments (with due respect):
"PF withdrawal is allowed for a daughter's wedding because it's the daughter's parents who have to spend!"
Have to? Why? Why should we be so defensive about arbitrary rules which we had no role in framing?
"Show me one marriage where the bridegroom bore the cost!"
Well, time to change that then. Isn't the status quo a clear form of discrimination? If a marriage is based upon the cost, where do priorities lie?
"I don't mean to sound rebellious, but it has always been our tradition!"
unfortunately you are not being rebellious, you are being conformist. Is there a reason why we should follow a clearly flawed tradition - and I cant stop being puzzled about this - which we are dearly forcing upon us for no reason but that its a holy cow?
It is unfortunate that the cart is dragging the cow here. Traditions should arise out of practices, to embody the best practices and provide guidance to those who need them. What are the odds that any tradition remains relevant for a long period in a changing world? Regrettably, archaic tradition dictates our practices in cases like these. Isn't it time to start questioning this? Apparently no one is willing to watch the watchmen.
A reasonable person tries to adapt herself to the world. An unreasonable person adapts the world to herself. All progress, therefore, depends upon the unreasonable person.
Posted by: Chinna | November 06, 2009 at 11:27 PM