non sequitur

JOQ

This one's on the occassion of Adele winning 6 Grammy's today...

Q: Where would Adele want to go for her honeymoon?

A: Adelaide (say it loud)

Pointless Pontifications

I have realised that the only way to read through a Stream of Consciousness is by being semi-conscious. Finished reading Henry Miller's 'Tropic of Cancer' over a weekend of illness - finally.

why didn't the horse in 'War Horse' get an Oscar nomination in the best actor category this year? why wasn't Mozart nominated in the best music category for Amadeus in 1984? these are the kind of things that keep my mind occupied on a Sunday night. coming to the horse, couldn't it do with some acting tips in understatedness from the donkey in Bresson's Au Hasard Balthazar? But then, you will tell me that horses cannot be compared to donkeys.
(12-Feb-2012)

Happy 200 to Charles Dickens. I share my favorite passage in Dickens as a tribute to arguably the greatest wordsmith ever.

"Pip, dear old chap, life is made of ever so many partings welded together, as I may say, and one man's a blacksmith, and one's a whitesmith, and one's a goldsmith, and one's a coppersmith. Diwisions among such must come, and must be met as they come. If there's been any fault at all to-day, it's mine. You and me is not two figures to be together in London; nor yet anywheres else but what is private, and beknown, and understood among friends. It ain't that I am proud, but that I want to be right, as you shall never see me no more in these clothes. I'm wrong in these clothes. I'm wrong out of the forge, the kitchen, or off th' meshes. You won't find half so much fault in me if you think of me in my forge dress, with my hammer in my hand, or even my pipe. You won't find half so much fault in me if, supposing as you should ever wish to see me, you come and put your head in at the forge window and see Joe the blacksmith, there, at the old anvil, in the old burnt apron, sticking to the old work. I'm awful dull, but I hope I've beat out something nigh the rights of this at last. And so GOD bless you, dear old Pip, old chap, GOD bless you!"
-Great Expectations
(07-Feb-2012)

As far as i am concerned, one performance that looms large in 'The Descendants' is Marlon Brando's famous monologue in 'The Last Tango in Paris' in front of his wife's dead body. Brando will live as long as cinema exists. (02-Feb-2012)

Clairvoyant Sirish Kunder is writing a sequel to Tees Maar Kha(n) - Tees Maar Khaya. (30-Jan-2012)

‎'The Apartment' (Jack Lemmon/Billy Wilder) currently playing on MGM. I have watched it before and now it strikes to me that our 'Yes Boss' is based on 'The Apartment' at certain levels - dont you agree? Be that as it may - and Billy Wilder is one of my top five favorite movie directors of all time and I think Jack Lemmon and Jimmy Stewart are the most charming of classical movie stars - I still like 'Yes Boss' more than 'The Apartment'. Isn't the ending of 'The Apartment' the mother of all romantic comedy climaxes? 'Pretty Woman' and 'When Harry met Sally' instantly come to my mind. On another note, 'Up in the Air' makes a good parody of such endings. you can now tell me 'shut up and deal'. (30-Nov-2011)

Spaghetti is best only when it is a top or a Western.

Another Woody Allen Movie Marathon Weekend. Watched 'Midnight in Paris', 'Bananas', 'Love and Death', 'Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex' and 'Interiors'. (16-Aug-2011)

Char baj gaye lekin party abhi baaki hai! (24-July-2011)

I think we should start adding year to the dates. 7/11, 26/11, 13/7 and the others - the years and dates of which i forget now. 9/11 means 9/11 2001 since that nation was proud enough to ensure nothing happens after that. we are a shameless nation and we have to improvise on the terror strikes nomenclature to suit our pathetic context. (14-July-2011)

Friday Evening: Party Hopping till 3AM between 2 friends' houses (one friend's special anniversary and another's Birthday) and a restaurant. Sloshed. Saturday Evening: Partying at home with friends. Drunk. Sunday Morning: Breakfast at Ista (another friend's birthday party). Sunday Afternoon: Guzzling down pitchers of beer on Brigade road. Sunday Night: Dinner at Tuscano in UB City (yet another friend's birthday bash). Somewhere in the midst of all this, I managed to squeeze in Ingmar Bergman's 'The Silence' too. It was one of the days when i felt like Marcello in Fellini's 'La Dolce Vita'. La Dolce Vita, indeed. Thank God it is Monday! (20-June-2011)

Now, thats's what I call a great weekend. 4 Woody Allens (Zelig, Sleeper, Radio Days, Scoop), a couple of chapters of Charles Dickens(Oliver Twist) and a couple of Martinis, Margaritas, Beer, Johnny Walker Black Label, and a Long Island Ice Tea with wonderful friends - not to forget, some great conversations. Cheers! (30-Apr-2011 through 02-May-2011)

Hectic Weekend. 2 Cricket Matches (Sri Lanka vs Pakistan and India vs England), 3 Movies (The Kids are Alright, The Fighter, Winter's Bone) and the 83rd Academy Awards. (28-Feb-2011)

Delhi has a very bad rapeutation. (13-Dec-2010)

Notice in the midst of all the English in the debate Barkha Dutt using the word Khabar many times over. It is clearly some serious self-branding drawing attention to the anagram her name makes. Barkha is News. News is Barkha. (01-Dec-2010)

come to think of it... doesn't Mark Zuckerberg in 'The Social Network' work as the latter-day Gordon Gekko? (24-Nov-2010)

CNN IBN has a sense of humour. Announces the news of Bachchan's 68th Birthday with the clipping of the song 'Dilbar mere kabtak mujhe aise hi tadpaoge' in the background. (12-Oct-2010)

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a young lady in possession of a Jane Austen must be in want of a life. (16-Sep-2010)

How ironic! Today, one religion looks up the skies for the Eid ka Chaand and another religion forces itself away from the Chavithi Moon. Both for religious reasons. It's the same moon, though. (11-Sep-2010)

watched As Good as it Gets(re-watch), A Few Good Men, Jerry Maguire, Kick Ass, Tokyo Story over the weekend (01-Aug-2010)

A weekend of film noir. watched The Asphalt Jungle(1950), Key Largo(1948), The Lady from Shanghai(1947), Murder, My Sweet(1944), Detour(1945)... and The Thin Man(1934) (12-Apr-2010)

Watched Dirty Harry, Fistful of Dollars, Before Sunrise, Lost in Translation on the flight from SFO to Hong Kong. Managed to squeeze in about 2 hours of sleep along the way. Finally caught up with "Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?" Before Sunset is better than Before Sunrise. Thought Lost in Translation was a loser movie until the last scene. Fistful of Dollars is a nice remake of Yojimbo - Yojimbo was funnier. (07-April-2010)

ODing on Woody Allen. Watched 'Manhattan Murder Mystery' and 'Hannah and her Sisters' back2back.

extract from Quentin Tarantino's recent interview with Telegraph:

"I want to make hard-d--k movies and I want them all to come from the same place as Reservoir Dogs; from the same artist, from the same man.My point is this. If some kid in 30 years’ time is going to watch one of my movies and he doesn’t know who the hell I am, but he likes it so much he says 'I want to see something else by this dude’, I want to make sure he likes the next one he grabs, too. If you see [Billy Wilder’s classic] Some Like it Hot and then the next Wilder movie you see is [his widely derided final film] Buddy Buddy it’s going to kick you in the shins. I don’t want those embarrassments. To me, it’s all about a solid filmography."

Woody Allen's body of work fits Tarantino's aspiration. Annie Hall, Manhattan, Crimes and Misdemeanours, Mighty Aphrodite, Manhattan Murder Mystery, Hannah and her Sisters, Vicky Cristina Barcelona, The Curse of the Jade Scorpion, Hollywood Ending, The Purple Rose of Cairo, Bullets Over Broadway, Husbands and Wives, Broadway Danny Rose, Deconstructing Harry, Stardust Memories, Match Point, Zelig, Sleeper, Radio Days, Scoop, Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex, Interiors, Bananas, Love and Death, Midnight in Paris... all of them come from the same artist, from the same man. Of course, there is much more than these 25 movies that make up Woody Allen's monolithic body of work. (13-Sep-2010)

Pink Floyd's 'Coming Back to Life' - Daffodils of Rock Music. (24-Feb-2010)

Did the background score of Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes(2009) remind you of the Anton Karas's classic score for Carol Reed's The Third Man(1949) or am I the only one? (08-Jan-2010)

Finished watching 250 of the imdb top 250 movies. Guess I started the mission sometime in mid 2005 or early 2006. (06-Jan-2010)

Watched Dracula (1931) featuring Bela Lugosi, Jean Epstein's The Fall of the House of Usher (1928), The Phantom of the Opera (1925) and Ace in the Hole (1951) over the weekend. (10-Aug-2009)

As of this minute, Andaz Apna Apna has reached the 249th spot on the imdb top 250 movies list. Click to view saved image. I rank this movie among the top 5 favorite comedy movies in Hindi.

That brings up the question that is most pertinent: what are my 5 favorite comedies in Hindi? They are Jaane Bhi Do Yaaron, Andaz Apna Apna, Angoor, Golmaal(the Ramprasad Sharma/Lucky one), and Chupke Chupke(the one featuring Professor Parimal Tripathi - I think the word Wodehousian describes this movie best) not necessarily in that order but on its day, the order does fall in that way too. I presume there is nothing new or unique about this list. Most people should be having most of the 5 movies in their list too. (05-Aug-2009)

Last night I died in my dream. It has never happened before ever in my life. I always thought that one never dies in one's dreams. A very phantastic experience. (03-Aug-2009)

Watched Ijaazat, The Red Shoes, Bringing up Baby, Changeling over the weekend. (27-Jul-2009)

When Harry Met Sally - A Woody Allen movie with a happy ending. (06-July-09)

Anand - India's bona fide gay movie. (22-May-2009)

I see no reason why the whole country should go gaga about the zoozoos. I say, fuck zoozoos. If vodafone cares spend a fraction of the money it spends on those commercials towards improving its myvodafone website, it would make the customer's life less frustrating. It is only a testament of what shallow times we live in. (21-May-2009)

Sin City - A comic book with a pulse. (20-May-2009)

Lotus Notes is worse than Kolkata Knight Riders. To paraphrase a great writer, the next season, KKR might do well, but Lotus Notes will always remain the worst email application. (19-May-2009)

'Rosebud' is cinema's greatest MacGuffin.

My favorite line in the movie is '...You know what the headline was the day before the election, "Candidate Kane found in love nest with quote, singer, unquote." He was gonna take the quotes off the singer.'

Do your children a favour. Give them a godless world. If there is a god, he will be pleased with both you and them.

I think that The Godfather: Part II is a better and superior movie than The Godfather.

Watched The Ox-Bow Incident, Sweet Smell of Success, The Wild Bunch, Mr. Smith goes to Washington, Les Diaboliques, Arsenic And Old Lace over the weekend. (30-Mar-2009)

Same old story. This time at the Australian Open. Only, it don't make the headlines no more.(21-Jan-2009)

Did you notice? The background music of the new Surf Excel ad is a direct lift of Anton Karas's 'The Theme of Third Man'. Dirty fellows. Pirates. and all the other Captain Haddock abuses. (circa Nov 2008)

Watched The Seventh Seal, Bonnie and Clyde, 'Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrals', Grapes of Wrath over the weekend. (07-Aug-2007)

Watched Casino, Finding Neverland, His Girl Friday, The Manchurian Candidate(1962) over the weekend. (31-July-2007)

Watched Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix, Unforgiven, V for Vendetta, Leon, Sherlock Jr., Heat, Blade Runner over the weekend. (16-July-2007)

Notice in the midst of all the English in the debate Barkha Dutt using the word Khabar many times over. It is clearly some serious self-branding drawing attention to the anagram her name makes. Barkha is News. News is Barkha.

The Tree of Life (2011)

"It is a journey of evolution. Adaptation. The journey we all take. A journey that unites each and every one of us. Darwin writes that we all come from the very first single-cell organism. Yet here I am. And there's Laroche. There's Orlean. And there's the ghost orchid. ... in moments in history. That's it. That's what I need to do. Tie all of history together. Start right before life begins on the planet. All is... lifeless. And then, like, life begins... with organisms. Those little single-cell ones. And it's before sex, because, like, everything was asexual. From there we go to bigger things. Jellyfish. Then that fish that got legs and crawled out on the land. And then we see, you know, like, dinosaurs. And then they're around for a long time. Then an asteroid comes and - the insects, the mammals, the primates, monkeys. The simple monkeys. Old-fashioned monkeys giving way to the new ones. Whatever. And then apes. Whatever. And man. Then we see the whole history of human civilization. hunting, war, love... heartache, disease, loneliness, technology. And we end with Susan Orlean in her office at The New Yorker... writing about flowers..."
-Charlie Kaufman, Adaptation (2002).
If you like this you might like The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

Capsule Reviews

Businessman(13-Jan-2012)
The first half of the movie is very good with a lot of dead-pan-straight-faced humour/dialog delivery from Mahesh Babu. The second half threw my mind back on the 'thank you Ram Gopal Verma' card before the opening credits for being an inspiration for the movie. It is incoherent, comes across as preachy to the point of pontification and you can actually see Mahesh Babu reading out the Telugu translation of RGV's blog and his cynical philosophies and arguments. This is the second time in succession - after Dookudu - that Prakash Raj has been underutilized in a Mahesh Babu film. I went to this movie with a lot of expectations - it offered something different but definitely not completely satisfying. But do not be discouraged by this. All in all, I must agree that I enjoyed the film and heard myself laughing out loud for most part of it. A definite watch.
3 out of 5 Stars

Panjaa (09-Dec-2011)
The first half of the film is predictable but good. The second half is entirely pointless with the plot coming back on track in the last 15 minutes. The whole film is a linear reworking of Baasha and the million assembly-line ‘Seema’ Movies where the hero is leading a calm life as a regular guy in a relatively serene setting and ends up with a gory flashback and the climax eventually taking him back to his roots. (Don't think of 'Out of the Past' (1947). That's blasphemy.) The opening credits of the film look like the pages of a graphic novel setting the mood up for a powerful/intense movie. What follows is something that could have been a far better effort. The background score sometimes sticks out and distracts the audience from the dialog. Two girls play major parts and both of them look very ordinary. We have something to worry when Pawan Kalyan starts looking like his less-illustrious sibling.
2.5 out of 5 Claws.

Singham (11-Sep-2011)
"Jis mein hain dum, dont fuck with Bajirao Singham". This is the best Entertainer of 2011. This is what Dabangg should have been - The Bang was what was missing there. To pontificate on the subject... well, let's leave it for another full length review of the film. 4 out of 5 Stars. "kyon ki kuch bhi karne ka tha Singham, Jaykanth Shikre ka Ego hurt nahin karne ka tha".

Inception (16-July-2010)
To paraphrase Quentin Tarantino, Inception (2010) is a Heist Movie with a sci-fi-chological thriller iconography. Don't believe notices that the movie is complex or incomprehensible. It's pretty straight forward, exciting and fun. I wonder why most movies now-a-days have to have a hero with a moral conflict - may be to add depth to the character. It's not a complaint; it's an observation. The best line of the movie comes when the heroine, for lack of another word, is exasperated and says, 'Whose subconscious are we in exactly?'. it kind of sums up the movie and reflects the audiences thoughts.
Didn't the totem wobble in the final scene? I couldn't help craning my neck to check. What do you think?

Before Sunrise (11-Apr-2010)
The protagonists in 'Before Sunrise' are on the same Ferris wheel and not one of them acknowledge Harry Lime(Orson Welles), Holly Martins(Joseph Cotten) and the cuckoo clock speech. They are indeed made for each-other.

Herold and Maude (09-Sep-2009)
Herold and Maude(1971) is the love story between a 19 year old boy and a 80 year old woman. One of the characters of the movie - not one of these two - sums the movie up brilliantly when he says...

I would be remiss in my duty if I did not tell you that the idea of intercourse - the act of your firm, young body... comingling with... withered flesh... sagging breasts... and flabby b-b-buttocks... makes me want... to vomit.

I cannot think of a more succulent summation of the movie. It is the best one line movie review ever - and ironically, the movie itself provides it.

The pie-eyed piper of Hamelin

with (L to R) Abhi, Aarush, Appu, Vishnu and Vishal.

My Movie Decathlon

"We did it, man. We did it. We did it."
-Easy Rider
I had one of the most productive weekends in recent times. Watched three Bunuels back to back to back - That Obscure Object of Desire(1977), The Exterminating Angel(1962), The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie(1972). I wanted to fit in Belle de Jour, but couldnt manage it. May be, I shall take it in the next round along with Tristana and Viridiana. The other films that were covered over this excellent weekend were L'Atalante(1934), The Tree of Life(2011), Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale(2010), The Lady Eve(1941), Five Easy Pieces(1970), Easy Rider(1969), Sri Rama Rajyam(2011).

After the first half-an-hour of Rare Exports, I thought it was turning into an Idiot Plot (Roger Ebert Movie Glossary: A plot that requires all the characters to be idiots. If they weren't, they'd immediately figure out everything and the movie would be over.) where the kid is trying to explain what is happening and the audience also knows it but everyone in the picture is doing their own thing like idiots. Just about when I was tending to get exasperated, the movie turned out to be a delightful watch where I was excitedly punching my fist in that air as it moved into the last half. The other movies I enjoyed were That Obscure Object..., The Discreet Charm..., The Exterminating Angel, Easy Rider, Sri Rama Rajyam. I found The Tree of Life to be a terribly boring art movie. God knows why it won the Palm D'Or. In a sort of divine providence or some kind of poetic justice invoking 'The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie', Saturday night I hopped 4 restaurants with friends and finally slept without having my dinner. I enjoyed the evening in the refection of the movie, nevertheless. Watch the hilarious movie to know what I mean. Sri Rama Rajyam is a big screen experience for every Teluguite. I absolutely loved it. It's a 2 handkerchief film. The separation scenes in the first half are absolutely moving. The highlight of the film is Balakrishna's performance. He has redeemed himself of all those Balayya videos on youtube and more importantly, has done his Great father proud. One must watch this film for Balakrishna's performance, if nothing else. Subtle, composed, understated are typically words that we don’t associate with him. I am sure he is going to walk away with the Nandi award next year. The special effects in the battle scenes and a few other scenes leave a lot to be desired (they look like Windows Media Player 'Visualisations'.) while they are very good in the Ayodhya/palace scenes. That was the only disappointing element of the film.

Ra.One - Movie Review

Howard Hawks once said a good movie constitutes "3 great scenes and no bad scenes". Ra.One has 3 great scenes and a movie full of bad scenes. The London chase, the train chase sequence which leads to the crumbling of Chatrapathi Shivaji Terminus and the climax have some top notch special effects. We have seen the Empire State Building biting dust in a zillion Hollywood disaster movies ad nauseam that it was refreshing to see some famous Indian monument come down like this in an Indian film. I hope this is only a good beginning and we see a lot of Indian monuments come down in future films.

The dialog writer should be shot. The movie is steeped in tacky dialogs. Allow me to provide a few cases in point. The names of 3 baddie-girls related to Bruce Lee are Iski Lee, Uski Lee, Sabki Lee. The Iron Man kind of contraptions that go into the chests of the super hero and villain are called HART an acronym that turns into something technical and is pronounced 'heart'. Random Access One is Ra.One which is Raavan, the villain in the great Hindu epic. The hero is The Good One and hence abbreviated to G.One and means 'life' via the Hindi word Jeevan. These are all High School level cringe-worthy jokes and puns that have no place in a work of this magnitude. If one tries to convince me that this movie is aimed at children then it is defying the smartness of children and the argument falls doubly flat because at many levels the jokes factor in a lot of sexual innuendo.

Kareena Kapoor gives a constant running commentary on what is going on on-screen to the extent that one might expect the movie to be converted into an audio cassette. She does a terrific turn as a villain for 30 seconds and she deserves to be in a well made full length horror movie. It's a side of her we have never seen before. A word on Rajini's cameo: He looked like something out of Madame Tussaud's. Shah Rukh Khan should never attempt things like playing a caricature of a Tamilian. It is utterly unconvincing. As a contrast, the movie itself offers a very good South Indian imitation by Satish Shah. It is a good lesson in how the representation of a stereotype works and how it doesn't. Arjun Rampal should be allowed to just stand there on screen - he should never be allowed to open his mouth. In one of the final scenes SRK catches his crown jewels and he emotes saying 'Yeh kya kar rahe ho G.One' and SRK gives a dead pan reply 'mujhe bhi nahin maloom'. It is like two adolescents 'discovering' themselves. I expect Ra.One to become a cult classic some 20 years down - so much that people will watch it in the class of movies where one says it-is-so-bad-it-is-good. The film is strictly for SRK fans.

2.5 out of 5 Stars (half star because I am an SRK fan)

Song of the Day

Ek Akela Is Shahar Mein Raat Mein Aur Dopahar Mein
Aabodaana Dhoondta Hai Aashiyana Dhoondta Hai

in bhoolabhoolaiyyaa galiyon mein apanaa bhee koee yek ghar hogaa
anbar pe khoolegee khidakee, yaa khidakee pe khulaa anbar hogaa
asamaanee rang kee aakhon me, basane kaa bahaanaa dhoondhate hain

 

Of Course!

Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara - Movie Review

After being unimpressed for the first half an hour or so, I actually ended up liking 'Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara'. It is a good movie that takes its time to unravel (and it does take a real lot of time). A road movie which touches upon all the moorings of the genre without really being too melodramatic about them. Watch it if you have patience to just listen to an unremarkable tale, but a close-to-real one nevertheless. I believe all good drama is unremarkable, like real life apparently seems to be.

A few more thoughts. Consider the curious case of Hrithik Roshan. During the initial part of the movie, he hams up the money-is-all-that-matters kind of jerk in a hilariously caricaturish fashion during which phase there are a few good scenes portraying the tension between the 3 friends. Enter Katrina, her Archies Card homilies on life, one deep diving session and voila he has magically transformed into a Boy Scout. After that it is like watching Hrithik playing another character in another movie. In contrast to that, the other two fellows, Farhan Akthar and Abhay Deol, are consistent through out the film, playing the pterodactyls with a secret sorrow.

The sky diving scene was brilliant - it was almost like being there in the middle and sky diving with the three of them. But! What is the ' Saare Jahan Se Achchha' tune doing in that scene - it comes both literally and figuratively out of the blue. When Karan Johar throws the Jana Gana Mana at us in Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham it is mega-melodrama. (I just checked the youtube video of the scene for a refresher and I notice that along with that he also packs Vandemataram and Saare Jahan Se Achchha.) A small digression here. I remember tut-tuting the scene when I first watched K3G. Then one day when I was at an Indian restaurant in Germany, this movie was playing and this scene ran. I must confess that I was moved to tears with homesickness when I watched the scene in that context. Coming back, the Saare Jahan Se Achchha tune in the middle of the skydiving scene is prime cut, state of the art, high tech, Olympic class WTFness.

3 out of 5 Stars.

WALL-E(ntertainment)